woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
