Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
