So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
