I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
