I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
