My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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