Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize