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did you get engaged???
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
