i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
