They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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