I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nicole vs. Life
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
