you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All the doctor said was why
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
