i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
