i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
