I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
