margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
