R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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