I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
