there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize