So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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