By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
