dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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