I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
