She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
