epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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