Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
