It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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