Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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