thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just forgot I was standing up.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
