Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
