can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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