He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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