Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
