She said her name was "party"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
