Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
