you mean i was at the winter classic?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
