i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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