whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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