Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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(513): View more from Ohio

There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me

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(910): View more from North Carolina

the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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(646): View more from New York

there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.

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(281): View more from Texas

Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.

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