i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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