You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
