please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
