i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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