my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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