Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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