Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
