he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
