Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
