so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
