Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
