I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
