I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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