you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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