So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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