so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I checked into jail on foursquare
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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