No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
