I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
